Sunday, March 14, 2010

Bibliophile, or bibliomaniac?

I've never been good at keeping any kind of journal. Since I was small, I've continuously bought various notebooks and journals, with every good intention of writing down my thoughts and such, but I've yet to keep one of them going for any longer than a few weeks. Whenever we're out shopping, I'll inevitably seek out the journals and consider getting a new one. I'll run my hands over the covers, flip through the pages, and imagine the writer inside finally finding an outlet. Sometimes, I'll even spend the money for it, along with fancy, new ink pens to match, and take them home, where they will often sit, still in the bags, for months or years. Usually, I'll break out the new pens and write my name, or the colour of the pen, or something useless like "I'm writing in this journal. :)" over and over on one page, and then that'll be it. This blog, along with a few others are further examples (albeit of the digital variety) of these well-intentioned, but ultimately doomed, journals.

There are stacks upon stacks of empty and nearly-empty journals and notebooks all over the house. Most of them only have a few pages filled out, if that. There are also bookshelves that would put many libraries to shame. I simply CANNOT throw away any book. I even have multiple copies of the same book, and some are falling apart to the point that they are unreadable. Still, I can't throw them out.

I was watching a show on TLC called "Hoarding: Buried Alive". It kind of made me wonder about my own need to own so many books and writing tools. (I also have a prodigious collections of ink pens, most of which are dried up. But, that is another issue altogether.) I did a Google search on hoarding, and found that there is actually a subset of hoarding that focuses on books only. It's called 'bibliomania'.

I've shown tendencies in the past of hoarding other items as well, including fabric, art supplies, yarn, movies, tapes (I haven't owned a tape player for over 10 years), movies, CDs, etc. I'm generally able to eventually clear these things out pretty well. Whenever I get the mood to clean, or need to clean for company, moving or whatever, I can gradually clear out these types of items. That's not to say I don't still have a lot of crap I know I'll never use, nor even have the ability to use (such as the aforementioned tapes), but I can get rid of it a little of a time. Not books, though. I have school books from classes I took my freshman year of high school, recipe books that have had things spilled on them and the pages are stuck together, yearbooks for schools that no one I know has ever attended, positively ancient magazines for hobbies in which I have never been interested, and books in foreign languages that I don't speak. We're moving again in a few months, and I know that DH is going to push me to throw out many of these books, instead of moving them. The thought fills me with dread and resentment.

Am I in the beginning stages of a serious problem?

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